Here is an interesting read about one man's idea on how to live life, values, and what is important. And remember -- "He who dies with the most toys...is still dead."
Ehrmann's Desiderata (from 1927)
2/28/2005
2/24/2005
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, Even for Dogs
LONDON (Reuters) - A blind man has been arrested in Scotland after witnesses reported he sank his teeth into his guide dog and kicked her across the road, police said on Thursday. The incident allegedly occurred outside a busy shopping center in the Scottish capital Edinburgh. David Todd, 34, is expected to face charges of cruelty to animals and breach of the peace. A police spokeswoman said the 8-year old dog had been handed over to a charity dedicated to guide dogs.
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I've heard of biting the hand that feeds you, but never biting the hound that leads you!
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I've heard of biting the hand that feeds you, but never biting the hound that leads you!
2/22/2005
Best-Dressed Homeless in the World...
SEOUL (Reuters) - Some South Korean homeless are dressing in style after the government gave away thousands of fake designer garments confiscated by customs agents. The Korea Customs Service distributed more than 3,500 fake pieces in the southern city of Pusan this month with the permission of the fashion houses whose designs had been pirated.
A customs official declined to name the designers whose ripped-off creations are now being worn by the homeless but said both they and the state prosecutors had approved giving away the jackets, blouses, shirts and pants. "We hope this will be of some help to the poor who need practical assistance in such hard times," the official said.
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This is not a bad idea they have in Korea. We can even take it a few steps further. Everytime something is confiscated from criminals, for example drug dealers, we can give it to the poor and homeless. I'll bet skippy in the projects would love it if his parents had that new Mercedes...and if a house (aka drug den) gets confiscated then I'm sure that the homeless would love to put it to good use.
A customs official declined to name the designers whose ripped-off creations are now being worn by the homeless but said both they and the state prosecutors had approved giving away the jackets, blouses, shirts and pants. "We hope this will be of some help to the poor who need practical assistance in such hard times," the official said.
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This is not a bad idea they have in Korea. We can even take it a few steps further. Everytime something is confiscated from criminals, for example drug dealers, we can give it to the poor and homeless. I'll bet skippy in the projects would love it if his parents had that new Mercedes...and if a house (aka drug den) gets confiscated then I'm sure that the homeless would love to put it to good use.
2/17/2005
Bruce slept here......
Founded in 1887, Asbury Park, NJ was once one of the Northeast's most popular seaside resorts. Today, Asbury Park's beachfront is in the grip of a decline that began with race riots in 1970. New plans to revitalize the town have many people watching, waiting, and hoping.
Here is a great photo gallery of then and now.
Asbury Park Then & Now
Here is a great photo gallery of then and now.
Asbury Park Then & Now
2/16/2005
10 Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is DOWN
1. The cucumber has left the salad.
2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out
3. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
5. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
6. Mini-Me is making a break for the escape pod.
7. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary".
8. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
9. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
10. Men are From Mars, Women can see Your Penis
2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out
3. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
5. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
6. Mini-Me is making a break for the escape pod.
7. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary".
8. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
9. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
10. Men are From Mars, Women can see Your Penis
2/15/2005
Why Do People Do This?....
It was totally overcast the other day and I saw a guy wearing really dark sunglasses.
Why do people do this? He had dark hair so he couldn't have been an albino. Are we really that insecure? Or is it that some folks pay $200 for a pair of sunglasses (suckers!) and then feel they need to wear them as much as possible?
Why do people do this? He had dark hair so he couldn't have been an albino. Are we really that insecure? Or is it that some folks pay $200 for a pair of sunglasses (suckers!) and then feel they need to wear them as much as possible?
2/14/2005
A Valentine's Story
LONDON (Reuters) - A British woman was sentenced to two and a half years in jail Thursday for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances. She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours."
[OK guys, sounds like she's available in about 30 months...any takers??]
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances. She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours."
[OK guys, sounds like she's available in about 30 months...any takers??]
Torture Method #43
I found an interesting and low-cost way to torture someone. Wait until they are sick or have an upset stomach (a stomach virus is the best case) and when they are lying on the couch and can't move, turn on the Food Network and hide the remote.
The gooey, saucy, meaty foods that they show and all of that talk about food and spices will make anyone puke if they're nauseous...Then, of course, there is the additional factor of Rachel Ray's voice.
The gooey, saucy, meaty foods that they show and all of that talk about food and spices will make anyone puke if they're nauseous...Then, of course, there is the additional factor of Rachel Ray's voice.
2/08/2005
Soccer, Balls and Liquor....
LONDON (Reuters) - A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby, the Daily Mirror reported Tuesday.
Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday's match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off," the paper said. Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.
But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 yards back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.
Huish was taken to hospital where he remained in serious condition, the paper said.
Wales's 11-9 victory over England at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff was their first home win over England in 12 years.
Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday's match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off," the paper said. Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.
But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 yards back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.
Huish was taken to hospital where he remained in serious condition, the paper said.
Wales's 11-9 victory over England at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff was their first home win over England in 12 years.
2/04/2005
Woman Accused of Giving Lethal Sherry Enema
OK folks - here are some good general rules to follow:
1) Don't stick anything up your butt
2) Don't let anyone else stick anything up your butt
3) Don't put something made for your mouth into your butt
and now.....
HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said on Wednesday.
Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle.
"We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles." Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper.
"I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," said Turner, who led the lengthy investigation in the case.
The woman admitted administering the enema, but denied causing her husband's death, the Chronicle said. A dispatcher for the Lake Jackson police said only Turner could discuss the case, but he did not return phone calls from Reuters.
Along with negligent homicide, Mrs. Warner was indicted for burning her husband's will a month before his death. Both charges carry maximum penalties of two years in prison. Mrs. Warner surrendered to police on Monday and was released on $30,000 bail, the newspaper said.
1) Don't stick anything up your butt
2) Don't let anyone else stick anything up your butt
3) Don't put something made for your mouth into your butt
and now.....
HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said on Wednesday.
Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle.
"We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles." Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper.
"I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," said Turner, who led the lengthy investigation in the case.
The woman admitted administering the enema, but denied causing her husband's death, the Chronicle said. A dispatcher for the Lake Jackson police said only Turner could discuss the case, but he did not return phone calls from Reuters.
Along with negligent homicide, Mrs. Warner was indicted for burning her husband's will a month before his death. Both charges carry maximum penalties of two years in prison. Mrs. Warner surrendered to police on Monday and was released on $30,000 bail, the newspaper said.
2/03/2005
Stuff that Keeps Me Up at Night...
In the show 'The Brady Bunch', if Mike Brady was such a great architect why did they have 6 kids and only one bathroom?
How come no one ever pays on 'Cheers'?
Where are the toilets on the U.S.S. Enterprise?
How come in the movies a man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in pain when a woman tries to clean his wounds?
Why don't people who believe in re-incarnation leave all their money to themselves?
If you filled your toilet with water from the Bermuda Triangle, would that eliminate the need to flush?
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Can you sentence a homeless person to house arrest?
When Jesus was a baby did he crawl on water?
Why aren't there any 'Grand MOTHER Clocks'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
When flying on an airplane and your pilot's name is Jack can you say 'Hi' to him?
If Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, then why does it make me feel so much smarter?
If Wile E. Coyote could afford to buy all the stuff from ACME why didn't he just buy a Big Mac?
If Dracula can't see himself in a mirror why is his hair always so neat?
Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"?
Why do so many blondes dye their roots dark?
If a bald person had a bad hair day, how could they tell?
Can people who live on houseboats get flood insurance?
If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter what are girl scout cookies made with?
If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?
Why do people who are against deforestation, have paper signs on wooden posts?
Why does 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
Will used Nicorette patches help me with second hand smoke?
How come no one ever pays on 'Cheers'?
Where are the toilets on the U.S.S. Enterprise?
How come in the movies a man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in pain when a woman tries to clean his wounds?
Why don't people who believe in re-incarnation leave all their money to themselves?
If you filled your toilet with water from the Bermuda Triangle, would that eliminate the need to flush?
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Can you sentence a homeless person to house arrest?
When Jesus was a baby did he crawl on water?
Why aren't there any 'Grand MOTHER Clocks'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
When flying on an airplane and your pilot's name is Jack can you say 'Hi' to him?
If Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, then why does it make me feel so much smarter?
If Wile E. Coyote could afford to buy all the stuff from ACME why didn't he just buy a Big Mac?
If Dracula can't see himself in a mirror why is his hair always so neat?
Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"?
Why do so many blondes dye their roots dark?
If a bald person had a bad hair day, how could they tell?
Can people who live on houseboats get flood insurance?
If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter what are girl scout cookies made with?
If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?
Why do people who are against deforestation, have paper signs on wooden posts?
Why does 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
Will used Nicorette patches help me with second hand smoke?
2/02/2005
Extreme Ringtones in the UK
LONDON (Reuters) - Despite complaints from 60 people, Britain's advertising regulators said on Wednesday there is nothing inappropriate about the genitals of an animated frog whose high-pitched squeals are sold as a mobile phone ringtone.
Television adverts of the motorcycle-riding Crazy Frog, who is drawn with a broad smile and a tiny penis, run frequently on British television, amusing, baffling and annoying viewers.
"While unusual for an animated model of this type to be shown with genitalia, no sexual or inappropriate references were made about its anatomy," the UK's Advertising Standards Authority said.
Twenty-two people complained they were worried children might see the advertising, which also promotes screen savers and mobile videos. Five parents said they were embarrassed by questions their children had asked.
Other viewers simply found the commercial annoying and thought it was shown too often. "We appreciate that the frequent broadcast of the same, or similar commercials can be annoying to some viewers," the ASA said. "However, it is for the advertiser and broadcaster to decide how often a particular advertisement is shown."
Television adverts of the motorcycle-riding Crazy Frog, who is drawn with a broad smile and a tiny penis, run frequently on British television, amusing, baffling and annoying viewers.
"While unusual for an animated model of this type to be shown with genitalia, no sexual or inappropriate references were made about its anatomy," the UK's Advertising Standards Authority said.
Twenty-two people complained they were worried children might see the advertising, which also promotes screen savers and mobile videos. Five parents said they were embarrassed by questions their children had asked.
Other viewers simply found the commercial annoying and thought it was shown too often. "We appreciate that the frequent broadcast of the same, or similar commercials can be annoying to some viewers," the ASA said. "However, it is for the advertiser and broadcaster to decide how often a particular advertisement is shown."
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