15 Things to Keep in Mind

1. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
3. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
6. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
7. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
8. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
9. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
10. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
11. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
12. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
13. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
14. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
15. When all esle fails...you've failed
    

Quote by Abraham Lincoln on Planning

The famous quote by Abraham Lincoln sums it all up, "If I had five hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend four hours sharpening the axe".

Never Underestimate People

Here is a good joke to emphasize this point:
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Little Johnny used to hang out at the local corner market. The
owner didn't know what Little Johnny's problem was, but the boys
would constantly tease him.

They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load,
or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they
would offer Little Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents)
and a dime (10 cents) and Little Johnny would always take the
nickel -- they said, because it was bigger.

One day after Little Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner
took him aside and said, "Little Johnny, those boys are making
fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than
the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel just because it's bigger"

Slowly, Little Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big
grin appeared on his face and he said, "Well, if I took the dime,
they'd stop doing it, and so far I've saved $20...!"

Joke: School, spanking, and Emo

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for later in life."

- Emo Phillips

Getting Old

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

- George Burns

Saying: Napoleon Hill

“No form of human exchange is more profitable than the exchange of ideas. If I give you a thought in return for one of your thoughts, each of us will have gained a 100 percent dividend.”

-Napoleon Hill-