3/31/2015

Great Ideas - Numero Uno

Okay, every once in a while I get a few great ideas while driving, showering, waiting in line and performing ablutions and bodily functions. So when the moment strikes I feel I should share them with the world to do with as they wish.

And when I say great ideas, I generally define great to mean "astonishingly stupid" -- as in Great Scott!, or "totally incoherent" -- as in Great Grandfather.

This all came about when I was reading a book by James Altucher (@jaltucher) recently that said as part of a daily regimen to enhance your mental abilities (and ultimately improve your life), one of the things that you should do is come up with 10 ideas daily. They don't even have to be good - which was a great relief to me, and the inspiration for this post. So I try to do this most days, but sometimes I have the ideas when I am not near my idea pad, and so I share them via email post to this blog.

So why don't I take these great ideas I have for myself and execute upon them and turn them into viable products and services and make a lot of money? Why don't I do it to give back to humanity and make the world a better place?

I can respond in one simple word: I'm Lazy.

Anyway, feel free to use any of these ideas on my blog to further yourself and your family. You do not need to pay me back unless you are a female porn star, or Salma Hayek. If you are a dude, a nice case of Heineken would be nice at least, you cheap bastard!

So without further fanfare, here is this week's installment of "great" ideas:

(1) FlipSox (tm)
While standing in line at the pizza parlor waiting for my order, I saw not one, but two women come into the shop wearing flip flops...with socks. It is winter here in NJ, but not to be denied from wearing the laziest shoe apparel on the planet just because it is 30 degrees, these women wore socks. Surely, since there are 2 of them this must be a trend. The problem is that they jammed their socks into that little rubber stem in the flip flop and it was bending the stem and crinkling the sock between their toes.

So I thought someone should create a sock with a pre-sewn indentation between the big toe and the rest of the sock - kind of like mittens for feet. This way, your foot will slide easily into the flip flop and you can wear socks. I just can't decide if they should be white, black, or argyle.

(2) Leaning Tower of Pizza
Alright, this needs a better name, but it is a great idea. After leaving the aforementioned pizza parlor, I had 2 boxes of pizza placed onto the passenger seat in my car. I have bucket seats. The pizza always sits on an angle and the cheese slides toward the one side. So I proceed to jam my empty water bottle underneath, or crumpled Big Mac wrappers or anything to try and level it out. Then I have to hold it with one hand, text with the other, and somehow find a way to drive home with a remaining appendage. I thought it would be great to just have a device that sits on the bucket seat and keeps the pizza level and in place.

My vision is a beanbag type bottom, with a flat plastic top piece with rubber matting on top and a small lip at the end to hold the pizza boxes in place. You can easily adjust it by just pushing gently to redistribute the beans in the bag until it was level - and of course there would be a built in yellow bubble float level thingy - so you can tell.

No more fighting over who gets the piece with all the cheese when you get home.
You're welcome.