1/13/2006
1/12/2006
Camo Paper
Here is camouflage toilet paper so that your butt doesn't see it coming!
There is a lot of great speacialty toilet paper at Just Toilet Paper.
There is a lot of great speacialty toilet paper at Just Toilet Paper.
More Things That Keep Me Up At Night...
* If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
* Who puts those "Thin Ice" signs out there?
* When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage?
* If a parsley farmer gets sued, do they garnish his wages?
* If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
* Who puts those "Thin Ice" signs out there?
* When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage?
* If a parsley farmer gets sued, do they garnish his wages?
* If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
1/11/2006
For Sale - Things I Need to Sell for Quick Cash
FOR SALE: 1 Parachute; Only used once, never opened, small stain.
FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
1/10/2006
Things to Teach Your Children...Before It's Too Late.
Things that would have been good to know when I was younger include:
- If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
- The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- Where there's a will, there's an attorney.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.
- Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you from enjoying it.
- Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
- When you're in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut!
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
- When you're finally holding all the cards, everyone else will decide to play chess.
- The trouble with life is that you're half-way through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
- If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
- The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- Where there's a will, there's an attorney.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.
- Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you from enjoying it.
- Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
- When you're in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut!
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
- When you're finally holding all the cards, everyone else will decide to play chess.
- The trouble with life is that you're half-way through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
1/06/2006
1/02/2006
50 Fun Things to do in an Elevator
1) Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Read 48 more HERE
2) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Read 48 more HERE
If the Starship Enterprise had Bumper Stickers
10) Our other starship separates into THREE pieces!
9) One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it.
8) HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!
7) Guns don't kill people, Mark VII phaser rifles do.
6) Zero to warp 9.7 in 3 seconds!
5) CAUTION! We have a trigger-happy Klingon at tactical!
4) If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?
3) Have you hugged a Ferengi Today?
2) Wesley on board!
1) We break for cubes.
9) One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it.
8) HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!
7) Guns don't kill people, Mark VII phaser rifles do.
6) Zero to warp 9.7 in 3 seconds!
5) CAUTION! We have a trigger-happy Klingon at tactical!
4) If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?
3) Have you hugged a Ferengi Today?
2) Wesley on board!
1) We break for cubes.
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