Immigration and Being American

Here is a supposed quote from Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN circa 1907.

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all.

We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

The Most Disturbing Thing

Do you want to know what the most disturbing thing to me is?

It's when I'm driving along on the highway, and I see a very attractive woman in the car next to me -- and she's picking her nose!

Life Goes Full Circle

· At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
· At age 12, success is...having friends.
· At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
· At age 20, success is...having sex.
· At age 35, success is...having money.
· At age 50, success is...having money.
· At age 60, success is...having sex.
· At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
· At age 75, success is...having friends.
· At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.

Quotes to Live By

"Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected."
- Red Buttons

"It's Cheaper to be in denial, than in therapy."

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
- Joe Weinstein

"I recently lost twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I was in England at the time."
- Daniel Lybra

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done'"
- George Carlin

Kids - Your Parents Read MySpace

I was at a conference the other day and during lunch I ate at the bar in the hotel. Across the bar were a group of women, obviously from the deep mid-west/south (my guess is Arkansas). They were complaining about their kids -- all were teens of various ages -- and drinking...

 

The conversation was very lively and better than any TV program. They best part was when another woman joined the group and started saying that she was just on the phone with her daughter (a senior in high school). Apparently, while the moms were here at the hotel last night, the kids back home threw a party at the house. Someone at the party took a ton of photos with their camera phone and posted them on their MySpace account. Now here comes the dumb part: the daughter linked to the page with the photos so her friends who couldn't make the party could check them out...

 

Well, Mom goes to the daughter's MySpace site while on the web and sees the link. The next thing she knows, she is looking at about 50 teens trashing the house and her daughter lying practically passed out on the couch.

 

The story of the conversation between the Mom & daugther was even better (she tried to deny it until Mom told her about MySpace)...but I can't do all the details here. All in all it was a very entertaining 30 minute lunch.

 

So Kids: Do Not post photos on MySpace or Flickr or anything like that. Also, don't go posting photos of people or non-public places online unless you have permission! A bunch of teens in NJ have been suspended from school for that very action!

 

 

How Scary is BK?

Is it just me or is that dude with the GIANT Burger King head scary?!

 

Did you see the one with the lumberjack in the woods -- and he turns around and the "king" ist standing right there in the middle of nowehere? If that was me, the BK would have had an axe in him - he scares me....

 

 

 

 

Thought for the Day

“Some people are like a Slinky...Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs”

Airlines Legally Do False Advertising

You've seen the ads:
Jamaica $99 one-way
London $199 one-way

There are two problems with this, first of all after all the taxes and add-ons your $99 x 2 ticket is like $500 -- but that's an aside.

The point is it is theoretically false advertising. I know that everyone realizes it's based on one-way, but that doesn't make it right. The deal is if you were to ask an airline for a one-way ticket to Jamaica (using the above example) - you would NOT be charged $99. If you were then to ask is there anyway to purchase a $99 ticket, they would say "No."
"What if I don't want to come back?"
"Sorry, one-way ticket is $189."

Can you imagine a show store that wanted to undercut the competition, so they advertise:
Shoes for only $9.99 left-shoe only, based on purchase of full pair.

Well, eventually everyone wants to advertise their shoes for half-price to attract attention and all the stores do it. Now everyone knows you have to double the price to get the actual pair cost. But does that make it right? And then along comes a guy with a missing leg and asks to buy just one left shoe. "Sorry, we have to sell you the pair."
"But I only want the one? Is it $9.99?"
"No. It is $19.98."

FALSE ADVERTISING.

I think the rules should be the same for everyone. Tell it like it is! I would even go as far as to say that they should have to reveal the full cost of the ticket including fees and taxes, etc. But that's just me, I could be wrong.

Scientology and South Park

There is a big stink about the South Park episode on YouTube that pokes fun of Scientology.

Apparently long time voice contributor Isaac Hayes even quit (he's the chef) over the writers' religious intolerance. Of course, Hayes didn't mind when the show made fun of Jews and Christians.

I think South Park is right on in every aspect that they made fun of, here are the highlights:

• Scientology is a religion
• It attracts a lot of celebrities
• It was founded by a (mediocre) Science Fiction writer
• Some of the beliefs are so ridiculous, it's hard to believe that anyone truly believes it
• Only those with moola ($) can be in the "church" to any great extent

Anyway - I am not sure who paid who in congress to get religious status, but here is the thing -

Scientology is not a F***ing Religion!

Religion is based on Faith. Science is for those things that can be measured, and Religion is for those things that cannot be measured. I read Dianetics as a teenager; it was interesting, and although I found holes in the logic even then, I would never have even considered it a religious matter. It barely makes philosophy.

Also, what religion worth it's salt only allows those who can "afford" to join be a member? I realize the Catholic church always has the collection plate out, and speaks of tithing, but you won't get kicked out or be prevented from receiving sacrements if you are "poor".

First of all, I support the right to free speech, but I am not so insensitive that I would purposefully trash someone else's religion - However, I feel no remorse by writing this post. In fact, I find the whole thing kind of funny "Hey look at the kooky celebrities wasting their millions on that crap!"

Just think, if they were practicing a "real religion" they could be donating that money to the poor, starting non-profit organizations, or other worthy endeavors. Just look at Oprah and Jimmy Carter and other intelligent people with money.

I also want to announce that I am starting the Church of Miketology (don't smile, this is serious) because I have very strong beliefs that I need to share, and because I can use the tax break and the extra cash. I even published a science fiction article once! Any celebrities got some free cash?