What's another word for Thesaurus?

Another Euphemism for bodily function #2:
"Taking the Browns to the Superbowl!"
(apologies to the people in Cleveland:-)

I've always thought that if I didn't have to work (i.e. was filthy rich), I would still have some sort of job to keep myself from being totally bored...now, I think I may have been wrong. So, in order to finally determine the correct answer, I am asking anyone who would like to take part in this experiment--by allowing me to live off of their fortune and see if I get bored by not doing anything--please contact me. Thank you.

A true statement from one of my friends: "Wow! I haven't been here since-- the last time I was here!"

Didn't Michael Jordan retire like three times already??

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Yesterday, for the first time ever, I actually stored gloves in my glove compartment!

Is it an omen that the top three guys in charge of the US Government are named Bush, Dick, and Colon?

You know you're losing your grip when you can be outsmarted by the garage door opener...(long story)...