Carlin on (the original) Indians

“…Now the Indians. I call them Indians because that’s what they are. They’re Indians. There’s nothing wrong with the word Indian. “First of all, it’s important to know that the word Indian does not derive from Columbus mistakenly believing he had reached ‘India.’ India was not even called by that name in 1492; it was known as Hindustan.

“More likely, the word Indian comes from Columbus’s description of the people he found here. He was an Italian, and did not speak or write very good Spanish, so in his written accounts he called the Indians, “Una gente in Dios.” A people in God. In God. In Dios. Indians. It’s a perfectly noble and respectable word.

“As far as calling them ‘Americans’ is concerned, do I even have to point out what an insult this is?
—– We steal their hemisphere, kill twenty or so million of them, destroy five hundred separate cultures, herd the survivors onto the worst land we can find, and now we want to name them after ourselves? It’s appalling. Haven’t we done enough damage? Do we have to further degrade them by tagging them with the repulsive name of their conquerors?

“You know, you’d think it would be a fairly simple thing to come over to this continent, commit genocide, eliminate the forests, dam up the rivers, build our malls and massage parlors, sell our blenders and whoopee cushions, poison ourselves with chemicals, and let it go at that. But no. We have to compound the insult.”… I’m glad the Indians have gambling casinos now. It makes me happy that dimwitted white people are losing their rent money to the Indians. Maybe the Indians will get lucky and win their country back. Probably wouldn’t want it. Look at what we did to it.”


Real Estate and Logic

People in my nieghborhood are still buying McMansions for outrageous prices. Who are these people? How do they afford $5000/month mortgages and taxes? Does this make sense? If the market turns bad (which has to happen someday, no?), I think there are going to be a lot of big houses cheap :-)

As for me - I just bought a house that overlooks a golf course. It's a mini-golf course, you can see holes 2, 5, 9 and the windmill. That's about the best I can do.


Life's Rich Pagent

I think it was Woody Allen who said: "Life is full of loneliness, misery, and suffering, and it's over way too soon!"


Older and "Better"

I just celebrated my 30th birthday...it was ten years late, but I did it anyway.

I also noticed my first few grey hairs (gasp!)...They are at the sideburn area on the left.

They say that grey hair makes you look distinguished.
It's true - it distinguishes you from the younger people!

It's not bad having grey hair though, just ask anyone who is bald.


The Narcissistic Brain

Most people agree that the brain is the most fascinating organ -
but then, look what's telling us that!



I got stranded on a desert island once...

and My God what a great collection of albums!

Now I Can Sleep At Night...

[Getting Something Off Her Chest]
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Supermodel Tyra Banks underwent a sonogram on her own television show to quell rumors that she had breast implants. But first she ordered all the men out of the audience, a spokeswoman for her program said on Wednesday. Banks, 31, told the audience for her syndicated talk show on Tuesday that she was tired of rumors that her breasts were fake.

A plastic surgeon (Fischer) and an assistant performed a sonogram in front of the audience that was broadcast with certain part of Banks' anatomy blacked out. Fischer said, "I've performed approximately 8,000 breast implant surgeries, I've examined you, I've reviewed your sonogram ... and Tyra Banks has natural breasts."

[Back to the Old Grind]
NEW ORLEANS (Reuters) - In a sign that things may be returning to normal in New Orleans, strip shows are back in the city's famous French Quarter. Erotic dancers and strippers are entertaining crowds of police, firefighters and military personnel instead of the usual audiences of drunken conventioneers and tourists in Bourbon Street's Deja Vu club, which reopened this week.

It's the first strip joint to resume business, three weeks after Hurricane Katrina struck in the worst natural disaster ever to hit the United States. "It's nice to get back to work, and all these men need some entertainment," Dawn Beasley, 27, a dancer at the club, said on Tuesday night. "They haven't seen anybody but their buddies for two weeks."

[Dangerous Curves]
SAO PAULO, Brazil (Reuters) - Two high-class brothels hoping to attract racers and pit crews in Sunday's Brazilian Grand Prix were shut down after they posted sexually explicit advertisements on 30 billboards around South America's largest city. Prostitution in Brazil is legal, but pimping is not.


This Week's Definition - Jury

In light of the recent Gotti trial, I present the definition for the week:

Jury: 12 people who decide who has the better lawyer.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television

Seems like every new drama on television that I've seen so far tries to emulate one of the following shows:
* Lost/X-Files combo
* Sex in the City meets Friends

And seriously people, is "Dance with the Stars" really as hot as the networks say it is? Who are you people that are watching this show? Please...STOP IT!!


New Orleans Gets Back to Business (almost)

It's good to know with all the devastation surrounding New Orleans regarding Katrina that the Big Easy has its priorities straight. There may be no food, water, or electricity, but it looks like at least one strip club owner wants to get back to work. Besides, you just have to trust a guy named 'Saint' don't ya?

NEW ORLEANS (Reuters) - There's no water for the "wash the girl of your choice" service and there aren't any girls either, but Big Daddy's strip club on New Orleans' Bourbon Street is getting ready to bring back erotic spectacle to the devastated city.

Friday night on Bourbon Street, usually a throbbing artery of the party-going French Quarter, was pretty grim this time around in what has become a foul-smelling ghost town partly covered with a swamp of filthy water. Police patrol cars and military Humvees made up most of the traffic on the street.

But Big Daddy's general manager, Saint Jones, and a band of helpers defied an evacuation order by arriving to clean up their premises in the historic French Quarter, which escaped largely unscathed from the floods. Jones told Reuters he would open for business as soon as he could get electricity, water and dancers. (gee, is that all?)


Dubbya versus Katrina

The news actually gets it right sometimes....

Bush said when life gives you lemons.....make the most of it and create iced tea...or go fishing....


One More Depressing Thing...

Getting older is not fun of course...and one thing I have never had to worry about is my weight. I was always able to eat whatever and keep my waistline the same. Well, the times they are a changin'
I don't even own a scale, but when I got on one at a relatives house last week, I realized that I gained 7 pounds since the last time I looked and I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life...
If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams. I feel so out of shape...and I have never been one for exercise...
My bellybutton has an echo for Christ's sake!

On the way driving home I noticed my ABS light in my car is on; I think it's telling me to work on my Abs. Don't get me wrong, I want to have a good body, just not as much as I want dessert.

I really hate gyms...all the mindless exercise like biking to nowhere, or climbing stairs that lead nowhere...and I'd lift weights, except they’re so darn heavy.
If I join a gym I want a beer holder on the stairmaster, and a buffet by the soda machines.

I will have to just cut back on food I guess.....


Really Cool Internet Resources

Every once in a while I like to mention a few internet sites and tools that I find very useful or fun, because keeping them to myself would be just...well, selfish. So here are 6 cool things to try:

(1)Most of you probably already know about Flickr! They host your photos for free, allow sharing, commenting, organizing/tagging, and provide a way to easily upload to your blogger entries. You can even post directly from your camera cell phone.

(2)A similar service is OurMedia.org. Here is what they say about themselves: "We'll host your media forever — for free. Video blogs, photo albums, home movies, podcasting, digital art, documentary journalism, home-brew political ads, music videos, audio interviews, digital storytelling, children's tales, Flash animations, student films, mash-ups — all kinds of digital works."

(3)A very cool collaborative service is BackPack. It allows easy creation of multi-media pages for any purpose under the sun: Organize to do lists, notes, images, and photos, Plan a personal or business trip, Keep track of what your competitors are doing, Plan a home improvement project, Collaborate on a new business idea, Keep track of houses you're considering buying, Gather information for a research project, Keep a list of gift ideas for friends, Build a For Sale page, etc.

(4)I have been looking for a good systray note taking application for years (a free one of course). Well, I finally found it with Evernote. It allows multi-media note taking at the touch of a button, as well as search and categorizing. If you get the paid version you can have handwriting recognition as well.

(5)If you use Google's Gmail, you know you get over 2GB of space. If your like me, most of that is wasted. So, I use it to save my files with a free gmail shell extension. This allows me to synchronize files between laptops and desktop easily. The plugin provides easy access to Gmail via Windows Explorer.

(6) Finally, all work and no play...well, you know the rest. Anyway, when I was younger I used to play guitar, and I really miss it, but alas, I am now out of practice. Well, if you want to be Eddie Van Halen, watch an interesting animated plot, learn guitar, and have a great time living out your fantasies, check out Mr. Fastfinger. Have fun!


A Product that Could Change Womens' and Mens' Lives

Here is a device that could change the lives of women (and indirectly men) everywhere!

A Device that allows women to pee standing up!

Now, if women can pee standing up, they can put urinals in the ladies room and there would be no more lines, and indirectly, us guys wouldn't have to wait so long for the women to get back from the restroom!

Also, if your both coming home from that late night drinking session, no need to find a "clean" place to sit for your woman - she can now just pee against the nearest wall like you; think of the togetherness this will instill in your relationship.

There is some concern here though guys. We are losing the one thing we had over women -- they had the giving birth thing -- we had the pee standing up thing; that was the deal. Now we won't even be able to claim an assured victory in the "write your name in the snow" contests anymore (although we do have more practice)...

I am concerned that now since women can have babies using frozen sperm, buy vibrators, and earn plenty of dough on their own, that we men are on the way out. Essentially, all that is needed is for someone to invent a machine that kills household spiders upon hearing a scream, and we will be officially useless. Smoke 'em while you got 'em boys!

We can at least find some comfort that we carry "ours" wherever we go, and the women could easily leave theirs at home, or in their other purse. Although I dread to hear one woman ask another: "Blanch, can I borrow your p-mate, I left mine at home..."

A Worthy Cause....

Please check out Giving Globally -


Microsoft Turd

If you are tired of fighting with Microsoft Word here are some ideas for the next release that may actually be helpful. If you can't see the image clearly, just clik on it for a full size image.

New Word Menus:

Hidden Settings You Knew Were There Somewhere:

Better Help from Clippy: