True Americana (part 1)

Here are some Along the Road sites that are true Americana --

Giant Ketshup Bottle or is it Catsup?
Lucy the Elephant I live only about 45 minutes from here.

More to Come...


Online Tools for Getting Over a Relationship

"Love is Grand..." the part of the saying that they never finished is "...a grand pain in the ass."

Had a tough break-up? Want to vent or get even? Check out some online tools to help you get over him/her ==

Here is a handy tool called: The 'Dear EX' Email Generator

Also, as a parting gift that says "Thanks for playing, but don't call me - I'll call you" send them the timeless gift of Dead Black Roses (really!)

Send a breakup card at OtherAnnouncements
FYI - They also have cards for divrces, coming "out", DUI, pet's death, boob jobs, etc.


Totally Useless Sites

Who are these people that have so much time on their hands that they can create websites like these - and for what purpose? Maybe they are really fronts for terrorist organizations and have secret messages in them or something - or maybe something out of The Da Vinci Code... You can be the judge. Here are two TOTALLY useless site (more to come soon):

The Burnt Food Museum

Rocks shaped like shoes
The above site also features other great pages like "Crap I Found in the Street" and "Discarded Grocery Lists"
[Dude - you need a real hobby!]


New Reality TV + Game Show All in One

Here's an idea that mixes reality TV with sports and a game show...Mark Burnett are you listening?

I'm still hashing out the details in my mind, but my mind is a messy thing so I'll just spill what I have now:

* Two male contestants (we can work on a female version next)
* Complete all of the prescribed activities in the allotted time (some cerebral, some physical) gaining points as you go
* At the end of the game whoever has the most points gets to have sex with a model--or someone who looks like one--
* Whoever has the least amount of points gets to visit Bubba in prison for a conjugal visit - Talk about incentive! During the contest anything goes! Cut throat to the max! I would probably play until the death! Bubba gets to oversee the whole thing!

Now that's good TV!

Here are some possible names for the show -
* Fun with Bubba
* Models, Motivation, and Manhandlers
* Big Brother (oh, that one's taken)

This time two guys (or women) compete and the winner gets to have sex with the loser's wife; the loser has to watch. Only guys with hot wives can apply.


When you can't even get a date via the Internet - what do you do?

TOKYO (Reuters) - Japanese police said Tuesday they were investigating a group suicide in which seven people who got acquainted through the Internet killed themselves. Four men and three women, mostly in their 20s, were found dead in a car parked on a mountain in Minano, Saitama prefecture near Tokyo, the police said. Police found four charcoal stoves in the car, the windows of which were sealed from the inside. The car was wrapped in blue plastic sheets.

"We believe they all died after inhaling carbon monoxide from the charcoal," a police spokesman said. "We believe they got acquainted through the Internet."

One of the seven had sent an e-mail to a friend Monday saying he would commit suicide, the spokesman said. "We found no traces of violence that could have otherwise led to their deaths," he said.

Police said cases of "Internet suicide" had started to come to the fore in early 2003 and that a total of 34 people had killed themselves in such pacts.

[In an effort to keep up with the latest fads amongst young Internet users, AOL has started a Suicide Pact chat room - but you must be 18 or older to join. Also, it is required that your will cite AOL as a benefactor.]*
*added by Mike


New Regulations in the New Jersey DMV 2004 Handbook:

If you live here like I do, you will relate to these new entries:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident New Jersey Driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with PA, NY or DE plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New York driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In New Jersey, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Thank You,

The New Jersey Registrar of Motor Vehicles