* April Fool's Day is the dumbest concept for a day in the history of mankind. *
Not to be outdone I have decided to institute the following other 1st of the month days:

- February Fools: Find something valuable that your friend or neighbor owns (e.g., his watch) and hide it where he will never find it. If he doesn't find it by the end of the month, you can give it back and yell 'Febraruy Fools!' [P.S.- don't try this with his cat.]
- June Fools: On June 1st, you must wear something from the wardrobe of your neighbor to the right of your house (or apartment). No yelling is required on this day.
- August Fools: Whenever you get on an elevator on Aug. 1st, you must push all the buttons and yell 'August Fools!'
- October Fools: Once every ten minutes, regardless of where you are or what you are doing, you must stop, jump, clap your hands, and yell as loud as you can "Foolish is as foolish does." [P.S.- if you are in a confined space such as a car, no jumping is required.]
Anyone got any other arbitrarily ridiculous days to suggest?
If you've ever asked anyone what they thought their IQ was, did you ever get an answer below 100? By definition, the average is 100, therefore, half the people you ask should be at or below that number. So where are these people? My guess is they are at the following places:
-- In front of you in the checkout line at the grocery store
-- On the road next to you or in front of you
-- At the Customer Service desk
-- Everywhere when you're in a hurry
How do you throw out a garbage can?
I put the garbage can out with nothing in it for the garbage men to pick up. They just ignored it.
The next time I wrote the word 'Garbage' on it with a marker, and they just ignored it. (Did they think I was so dumb that I had to write what the can was for?)
Then I attached a note, that said "Please take this." He took the note, and left the can. I guess they didn't hire any former brain surgeons.
Last night I took out the last trash bag from the box, put the bag in the trash can, and then threw out the box by putting it into the bag.
Isn't there something incestuous about that?


Definition of 'Disheartening' #1:
Opening a bag of Dursban (lawn bug-killer) and finding a family of bugs living in it!
Definition of 'Disheartening' #2:
Finding mildew on the bottle of Tilex (mildew remover).
-- These are true and really happened to me. --
Here is something funny I saw on the Net yesterday:
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France accuses the US of arrogance, and the Germans don't want to fight."
Mike's Law of Home Expenses:
"The more expensive something is, the more likely it is to fail when you can least afford it."


Warning: Car Dealer Service Can Be a Rip-Off

I brought my car to the dealer for the 7500 mile scheduled maintenance. I knew it was time because the dashboard display said: "Time for Scheduled Maintenance". This message was annoying so I gave in and took it for service. All it really consisted of was an oil change and then they checked about 12 other things, but didn't actually do anything to them--just checked them. The bill was $200! I could have taken it to Jiffy Lube or a service station for about $50. The itemized bill should have read:

Oil Change $25
Tire Rotation $25
Check a bunch of stuff $0
Turn off the Annoying Message $150
Cool Ways to Use My Digital Camera:
Recently I had to buy a special audio cable for my home entertainment system. The wall plate had a connector type I was unfamiliar with, so I took a picture of it (using macro mode) and when I went to the store--I was able to show it to the guy and he knew exactly what it was that I needed. Trying to explain it would have been difficult. I also did this with a plumbing part that I needed, but would have been a pain to remove just to bring to the supply shop. I didn't even have to go to 1 hour photo!
Interesting Quotes:

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." -- George Burns
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family...in another city." -- George Burns
"Laughter is the closest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." -- unknown
Welcome to my Blog...I will be posting interesting observations, comments, URLs, and thoughts as they occur. Check back often!!