Push '1' for English...

It's bad enough when I have to dial '1' for English to get service on the phone, but there is something that really irks me.... and it has happened 3 times already today when calling the cable company, a credit card company, and my insurance carrier.

They make you enter your account number or phone number at the automated prompt, then when the service rep gets on the line they ask the same info.

I say, "I already typed it in - look it up."
"Sorry sir, that information doesn't come up on my screen."
"Then why did I have to type it in?"
"That's just how it works..."

God help us all.


New Computer Viruses to Watch Out for (not)...

1. Tonya Harding Virus
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.

2. Paul Revere Virus
Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\

3. Ollie North Virus
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.

5. Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.

6. Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

8. AT&T Virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

9. MCI Virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

10. Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

11. Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

12. Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

13. Adam and Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.

14. Congressional Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half, blaming the other side for the problem.

15. Airline Virus
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

16. PBS Virus
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.

17. LAPD Virus
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense."

18. O.J. Virus
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it.

Kids are never outside anymore

When I was a kid we played outside all summer long and didn't come home until supper - maybe.
If our parents needed us they screamed out the window or called the neighbors.
I can remember fondly many days of wiffle ball, riding bikes and jumping makeshift ramps made of cinder blocks and plywood, hanging out in the woods, and burning hot wheels with lighter fluid -- okay, that last one might have just been me...but we all had a good time.

When it rained - it really sucked.

Today there are so many things to do inside that kids do not want to go outside. Between the internet, HDTV, and the XBOX, the outside world is just not that compelling I suppose. I don't even see kids going over their friends houses anymore, they play video games over the Net and use headphones to communicate while playing. Even when kids do go outside today, it is typically their parents driving them to organized sport and activities.

You also hear parents say, there are too many bad people out there today, it's just not safe. I think it is no worse percentage-wise than when we were kids, but the 24-hour news media has to cover things to death.

I would HATE to be a kid today. When do you get an opportunity to get away from your parents? School - that's it. You're in the house all day, you don't get to go hang with your friends, and when you play sports, your parents are there with you screaming at the referee.

You guys can keep your smartphones, video games, and Skype; I prefer hanging out doing nothing outside in the sunlight and fresh air and not begin tethered to everyone, everywhere.