Plane Crashes and ID

I'm always horrified to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records.

What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Auction Sniper is a great eBay tool

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12 Things the I learned from Watching Movies

Large, loft apartments In New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed.

One of a pair of twins is always Evil.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

It doesn’t matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fused, deadly gasses, laser, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

It is easy to land a plane, provided that there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think to look for you there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

You’re very likely to survive any battle in a war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman tried to clean his wounds.

If someone says, “I’ll be right back,” they won’t.

Police departments give their Officers personality tests to make sure each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite

Introverted and Proud

Author on Introverts, Nancy R. Fenn, wrote a Top Ten to get introverts through their day,:

• 1. Assert yourself as a legitimate personality type.
  There are two legitimate personality types: extroverts and introverts.
• 2. Correct people when they refer to introverts as neurotics.
  Introverts are not neurotics. They are introverts.
• 3. Correct people when they refer to introverts as prone to mental illness.
  Introverts are no more prone to mental illness than others. When extroverts are under stress, they overeat, smoke, drink and become violent. When introverts are under stress, they withdraw. This does not make them mentally ill.
• 4. Correct people when they assert that introverts are anti-social.
  Introverts are not anti-social. They are drained by other people and must limit their time in company, but they are friendly and loving people.
• 5. Correct people when they assert that introverts have nothing to say.
  On the contrary, introverts won’t speak unless they have something important to say!
• 6. Put a proper value on your ability to be a good listener.
  Good listening skills are invaluable in all areas of business and industry.
• 7. Do not apologize for time spent alone.
  Explain to critical “others” that introverts need to spend at least half their time alone for good mental and emotional health. Then assert, if necessary, that introverts are a legitimate personality type.
• 8. Introverts are not losers.
  Take pride that you are in the company of such introverts, past and present, as Albert Einstein, Steven Spielberg, Queen Elizabeth II, Charles Darwin, Mahatma Gandhi, Michael Jordan and Bruce Lee.
• 9. Stand up for introverted children who are being misunderstood in your presence.
  This is one of the most healing things you can possibly do for yourself as it will heal your own inner child.
• 10. Don’t let pushy extroverts interrupt you while you’re reading a good book.
  Explain politely that you can’t talk right now, you’re reading a book.

One of my favorite writers, died on April 11th

Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut's Advice on Writing Short Stories

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.*
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

How Evil Spreads...

All that is necessary for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing.

Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

Cure Autism Now

April is National Autism Awareness Month.

Please Click Here and donate to C.A.N.

15 Things to Keep in Mind

1. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
3. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
6. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
7. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
8. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
9. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
10. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
11. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
12. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
13. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
14. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
15. When all esle fails...you've failed
    

Quote by Abraham Lincoln on Planning

The famous quote by Abraham Lincoln sums it all up, "If I had five hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend four hours sharpening the axe".

Never Underestimate People

Here is a good joke to emphasize this point:
----------------------------------------------
Little Johnny used to hang out at the local corner market. The
owner didn't know what Little Johnny's problem was, but the boys
would constantly tease him.

They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load,
or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they
would offer Little Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents)
and a dime (10 cents) and Little Johnny would always take the
nickel -- they said, because it was bigger.

One day after Little Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner
took him aside and said, "Little Johnny, those boys are making
fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than
the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel just because it's bigger"

Slowly, Little Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big
grin appeared on his face and he said, "Well, if I took the dime,
they'd stop doing it, and so far I've saved $20...!"

Joke: School, spanking, and Emo

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for later in life."

- Emo Phillips

Getting Old

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

- George Burns

Saying: Napoleon Hill

“No form of human exchange is more profitable than the exchange of ideas. If I give you a thought in return for one of your thoughts, each of us will have gained a 100 percent dividend.”

-Napoleon Hill-

What not to do on your driver's test...

"I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever
do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel.

Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner.
I failed the exam.

But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part."

- Garry Shandling

DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking.....................Moooo.
Beautiful................. .............Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist...............................Dyke.
Free Spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.........................Desperate.
Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional...........................Bitch.
Voluptuous............................Chubby.
Large frame...........................Big & fat.
Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.


BONUS: DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes.....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe.................... .............No
We need...............................I want
I am sorry............................You'll be sorry
We need to talk....................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead.....................You better not
Do what you want................You will pay for this later
I am not upset.....................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight.........Is sex all you ever think about?

Never too late...

"They say it's never too late to learn to play the piano, but at 2:30 am, I really wish my roommate would quit and go to bed."

- Nathan Hansar

Get paid for having an idea!

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Good news for people who worry

Just about every political problem has a personal solution. If you are willing to accept the responsibility to feed and clothe and educate yourself and your family, 90 percent of the world's problems will become secondary issues for you.

[Michael Masterson]

Lily Munster is Dead

Here's one for the baby boomers out there...Not sure if the kid's know who she is but...

Yvonne DeCarlo who played Lily Munster died today.

What most people don't realize is that she was one of the Hollywood beauty queens of the 40's (see photo). Her best known role was Sephora in Cecil B. DeMille's Ten Commandments.

16 Rules to Live By

The founder of GoDaddy, Bob Parsons has a great article (see below) --

---

Here are the 16 rules I try to live by:

1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone. I believe that not much happens of any significance when we're in our comfort zone. I hear people say, "But I'm concerned about security." My response to that is simple: "Security is for cadavers."

2. Never give up. Almost nothing works the first time it's attempted. Just because what you're doing does not seem to be working, doesn't mean it won't work. It just means that it might not work the way you're doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.

3. When you're ready to quit, you're closer than you think. There's an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: "The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."

4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be. Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of "undefined consequences." My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, "Well, Robert, if it doesn't work, they can't eat you."

5. Focus on what you want to have happen. Remember that old saying, "As you think, so shall you be."

6. Take things a day at a time. No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don't look too far into the future and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

7. Always be moving forward. Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

8. Be quick to decide. Remember what General George S. Patton said: "A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

9. Measure everything of significance. I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched improves.

10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate. If you want to uncover problems you don't know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven't examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you're doing. When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

12. Never let anybody push you around. In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you're doing as anyone else, provided that what you're doing is legal.

13. Never expect life to be fair. Life isn't fair. You make your own breaks. You'll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

14. Solve your own problems. You'll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you'll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of Sony, said it best: "You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others." There's also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: "A wise man keeps his own counsel."

15. Don't take yourself too seriously. Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

16. There's always a reason to smile. Find it. After all, you're really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: "We're not here for a long time; we're here for a good time."

Why I Don't Get Anywhere

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said:
"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."