Sesame Out Reach Project

In an effort to reach the inner-inner city kids the Sesame Workshop has created a new series called Sesame Alley (Dutch version SesamStraat shown below). Many of the most loved characters can be found in this 'hood as well!

CARS TODAY ARE TOO SAFE!
They keep making cars safer (ABS, all-wheel drive, side impact bags, etc.) and now they are talking about banning cell phone use completley-- even with a headset. Don't they know that talking to a passenger is even more distracting? Will they ban passengers and children from cars soon? And yet, people still drive like dangerous idiots-- why? Because they feel TOO SAFE! I think that if we made cars so unsafe that people were nervous to be in them, everyone would drive a lot more carefully! So let's see the following in next year's models:
* Random-locking brakes
* Shattering glass
* All plastic and balsa bodies (saves on gas too!)
* No seatbelts
* Steering column works 98% of the time
* Firestone tires for everyone!

I ALWAYS KNEW THIS WAS TRUE!


If you would like your own bad fortune cookie, you can go here and get one yourself!

THE BIG QUESTION
I realize most people want to know how it got up there; but my question is, "How did he get down? The doors are blocked by the trees and it looks awfully high up!"

FLY ME TO THE MOON
Wanna own an acre of property for only $30? You can do so by following this link. The land is cheap, the view is great, but the round-trip airfare is a bit pricey (say about $60M).

You've Got To Be Kidding!!
It's not John, Paul, George, or even Ringo -- but if this story is true, I believe that we will see a new "B"-movie based on a whole trailer park infected just like this poor kid.
Guys, you're not gonna like this!

ANOTHER CAN'T MISS ANNUAL EVENT
The moon will rise over AmTrak in California. Book your tickets now before the train is all sold out...or come as a participant and show your best side.

IF THEY HAVE TO WARN YOU--
IT MEANS THAT SOMEONE HAS ALREADY TRIED IT
Here is a list of things NOT to do on a unicycle. I can sense guys everwhere already guarding their crotch before the page is even loaded...enjoy!

IF YOU ALREADY BOUGHT THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE
Here is a unique "marketing opportunity" for those looking for the next new thing.
It will also improve quality of life for those living in areas where water is scarce. They are having a 2-for-1 sale so hurry! :-) And if you buy some, I have some swamp land to sell really cheap!!

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE CANDIDATES COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE
Jerry Springer makes a run for it!
Maybe we should make a run for it? Watch out Canada...here we come!

Danger of Consuming Too Much Alcohol
Here is a funny link
The more of these things that have happened to you, the more likely that you have a problem ;-)

Martha Stewart's Living
Help Martha Decorate Her Cell Contest Winners
I didn't want to jump on the Martha bandwagon, but the above link is too funny...
I wonder if she worries that wearing horizontal stripes will make her look fat?

WHAT WE NEED IS MORE RAIN -- NOT!
This spring is ridiculous. The east coast has been in unseasonably cold and rainy weather for months! I'm thinking of moving to Seattle where it is drier.
So we get a few days of sun and then whammo - more rain. Of course, the one or 2 nice days, I have to cut the grass (which is now 3 feet high from all the rain) and suffer through allergies. -- Did I mention that I'm an optimist?

There are three kinds of people: those that can count, and those that can't.

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE
Wrigley's is considering making a gum containing Viagra
(ref: http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/06/17/otsc.gupta/index.html ).
In this regard I would like to point out a few things:
------------
* Remember to take the gum out of your mouth before you have sex
* One piece at a time people-- you don't want to wind up in the E.R.
* For God's sake keep it away from your teenagers!
* When you are done with it: Spit it out, don't swallow it....

Possible Names for this gum:
* Long John's
* BigSquirt (has a liquid center)
* Rocket (to take be sold near Orbit gum)
* AttaBoy
* Big Red (change the current gum)
* Gum to Papa

Possible Flavors?:
* Italian Sausage
* Chocolate
* Double Chocolate
* Mexican Chimichanga
* CondomMint

Thoughts while eating at a chinese restaurant:
* Why are those photos of the menu items that hang on the wall at the chinese restaurant look like they were taken in 1950? They're all over-exposed and you certainly can't think the food is appetizing.
* What in God's name is that slime that coats most chinese food? I think it's where the goo in MooGoo Gai Pan comes from.
* Is there any egg in an Eggroll?