11/11/2003

Stupid Laws (Focus on the South)

We poked fun at some of the dumb laws from around the country previously in my weblog (Oct 23, 03). To continue this endeavor, let's take a look at the southern part of the US:

Alabama:
* It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle [Stevie Wonder needs to take off his blindfold now?]
* It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church [Rubber chickens, however, are perfectly fine.]
* Sex toys are banned throughout the state. [Anyone know where to buy cucumbers?]
* Solitaire may not be played on Sundays [Poker is OK.]

Arkansas:
* A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. [And what time of month would they pick?]

Delaware (yes, it's south of the Mason-Dixon):
* In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. [Don't eat any dirty pickles.]
* It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades. [Unless you dump them in NJ.]

Florida:
* If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. [But who cleans up the mess?]
* It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. [
* Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. [So my formal dress is ok?]
* Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. [this is a typo; I think they meant PAINFUL!]
* It is considered an offense to shower naked. [Do your laundry and shower at the same time in Florida!]
* It is illegal to sell your children ["Losing them" in Disney though is encouraged.]

West Virginia:
* It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. [Note- More rabbits are sold in WV than any other state.]
* Roadkill may be taken home for supper. [Only in F-ing West Virginia!]
* Whistling underwater is prohibited. [Don't they mean 'impossible'?]

OK, that's it. Be careful when you travel, you never know what law you might break!