3/17/2005

St. Patty Jokes

Most Irish jokes seem to involve drinking, wives, and on occasion lepruchans. Here are few oldies:

Joke 1-
McCarthy walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, he started to leave.

"Excuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McCarthy had done. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," he replied, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

Joke 2-
On Saint Patrick's Day, an Irishman who had a little to much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.

"So," said the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."