1/26/2007

DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking.....................Moooo.
Beautiful................. .............Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist...............................Dyke.
Free Spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.........................Desperate.
Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional...........................Bitch.
Voluptuous............................Chubby.
Large frame...........................Big & fat.
Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.


BONUS: DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes.....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe.................... .............No
We need...............................I want
I am sorry............................You'll be sorry
We need to talk....................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead.....................You better not
Do what you want................You will pay for this later
I am not upset.....................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight.........Is sex all you ever think about?