Support your local undertaker - DROP DEAD!
Archeologists will date any old thing
U.S. MARINE CORPS.--Everything destroyed in 30 min. or the next one's free!
Ossifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
I am trying to graduate witha 4.0...blood alcohol level!
Milk sucks, got beer?
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!
Honk if you hate noise pollution
Honk if you think I'm Jesus
Honk if you're illiterate
Honk if the twins fall out
Honk if you have never seen an ouzi fired from a car window.
Guys are great...every girl should own one!
I live with fear and danger every day, but sometimes she lets me go fishing.
Money does Buy Happiness. Give me $20 And I will smile.
I've managed to consolidate all of my bills into one single GARBAGE CAN!
If 10% is good enough for God, it aught to be good enough for the IRS
Never take investment advice from someone who's working.
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left
7/11/2003
7/10/2003
Homeless Advertising
One company had decided it has had enough of homeless begging for money and decided to put them to work. Of course, some people complained that they don't want to see advertisements everytime the turn around and everywhere they go...I assume they would rather see crazy, smelly homeless people shaking a cup at them!? Maybe after enough days this guy could earn enough to get him a free pizza and an upclass cardboard box near the park. :-))
My Web Pick for the Week
Adam Sandler's web site is very funny. Check out the Features page (you'll need a high-speed connection).
Death Row Final Meals
I'll Take That to Go!
Ever wonder what death-row inmates order for their last meal? Well now the king of capital punishment--the state of Texas--lists the final meals on their corrections website here: http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm. What's with the guy who ordered fruit and a garden salad? Does he think the chicken fried steak would be bad for his health? -- Or is he just avoiding anything with the word "fried" in it!
Ever wonder what death-row inmates order for their last meal? Well now the king of capital punishment--the state of Texas--lists the final meals on their corrections website here: http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm. What's with the guy who ordered fruit and a garden salad? Does he think the chicken fried steak would be bad for his health? -- Or is he just avoiding anything with the word "fried" in it!
Monster.com Gets Even More Depressing
Salary Timer
If you would like to track your salary on an hour-by-hour basis against some of the more famous celebrities, this depressing site will help you do that! After about 15 minutes I couldn't take it anymore....damn you Tiger Woods!
If you would like to track your salary on an hour-by-hour basis against some of the more famous celebrities, this depressing site will help you do that! After about 15 minutes I couldn't take it anymore....damn you Tiger Woods!
Something a bit more serious...
I did not verify the info in this post - but thought the point was worth noting...
THE 4TH OF JULY
Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?
Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they?
Twenty four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured. Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his Ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, & his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, & poverty was his reward. Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt. Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't.
So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.
Remember: freedom is never free!
THE 4TH OF JULY
Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?
Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they?
Twenty four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured. Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his Ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, & his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, & poverty was his reward. Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt. Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't.
So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.
Remember: freedom is never free!
7/03/2003
Happy Independence Day
Need Some Holiday Activites?
Here are a few links that will keep you entertained during those long, hazy days of of the 3-day weekend.
First a link to a classic video game, Frogger. That's right kids, this was as good as it got when we were kids! We didn't have any of those fancy first-person shooter, virtual reality, gameboy, stuff...Enoy this blast from the (recent?) past.
Next, this flash game of fling the cow into a target seems mindless, but it's like potato chips...I'll bet you can't play just one!
Finally, here is a link to display any text message you want (keep it clean) to a someone else's screensaver, and to see the results via his webcam. Over 300,000 messages so far! Have fun.
Here are a few links that will keep you entertained during those long, hazy days of of the 3-day weekend.
First a link to a classic video game, Frogger. That's right kids, this was as good as it got when we were kids! We didn't have any of those fancy first-person shooter, virtual reality, gameboy, stuff...Enoy this blast from the (recent?) past.
Next, this flash game of fling the cow into a target seems mindless, but it's like potato chips...I'll bet you can't play just one!
Finally, here is a link to display any text message you want (keep it clean) to a someone else's screensaver, and to see the results via his webcam. Over 300,000 messages so far! Have fun.
7/01/2003
Don't Call Us...
By now everyone has heard of the US Government's 'Do Not Call' list that will supposedly keep tele-marketers from calling you as of Oct 1st.
[In case you have been living in a cave- and your cave has internet access -here is the link: http://www.donotcall.gov ]
This link was overwhelmed so badly the first 2 days that the server could not handle the traffic. After only a few days, there were over 10 Million numbers entered into the database! Doesn't this tell you something? Maybe the Gov't should stop wasting everyone's time and avoid the complex task of updating and distributing databases, etc., and just disallow tele-marketing calls in the first place!! If everyone in the US is on the list what's the point of having a list? Obviously, everyone doesn't want to be called. Wouldn't it be easier to just have a 'Please Call Me! I'm Lonely' list and this way tele-marketers can call those who are interested...my guess is that this website would not be overwhelmed. I guess it would be http://www.callmeplease.gov/imlonely.html.
[In case you have been living in a cave- and your cave has internet access -here is the link: http://www.donotcall.gov ]
This link was overwhelmed so badly the first 2 days that the server could not handle the traffic. After only a few days, there were over 10 Million numbers entered into the database! Doesn't this tell you something? Maybe the Gov't should stop wasting everyone's time and avoid the complex task of updating and distributing databases, etc., and just disallow tele-marketing calls in the first place!! If everyone in the US is on the list what's the point of having a list? Obviously, everyone doesn't want to be called. Wouldn't it be easier to just have a 'Please Call Me! I'm Lonely' list and this way tele-marketers can call those who are interested...my guess is that this website would not be overwhelmed. I guess it would be http://www.callmeplease.gov/imlonely.html.
The Absolute Best TV Commercial Ever!!
It won't be seen in the US since it is "too long", and everyone knows we have no attention span….what was I saying? Oh yeah...This 2 minute ad took over 600 takes to get just one where everything went perfectly…it is not edited from piecemeal shots, but was executred exactly as shown. Enjoy.
http://home.attbi.com/~bernhard36/honda-ad.html
http://home.attbi.com/~bernhard36/honda-ad.html
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