George Bush is Coming 'round the Mountain

George Bush sings about his second term (from jibjab)

http://movies.yahoo.com/movies/feature/jibjabinaugural.html

Useful Grammar Tips

Need to get a big term paper ready? Writing a report for work? Here are some key tips for readability:

* Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
* Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
* Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
* Avoid clichés like the plague.
* Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
* Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
* It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
* Contractions aren't necessary.
* Be more or less specific.
* The passive voice is to be avoided.

PS - Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Pretentious Dating Sites

Want to avoid having arguments over politics with your potential mate? Get a date at the dating site Conservative Match where you can find Sweet Hearts NOT Bleeding Hearts -- of course, this only helps if you are a conservative. How do they check this by the way? Do they come to your house to see how many photos of Bush and Schwarzengger are hanging up?

Don't like dating the bimbo types (for more than one date)? Then get smart - look for a mate at Mensa -- the only problem with this plan is most of you who like the garbage in this blog probably won't qualify... :-)

Couldn't bare to date someone from Podunk University or any school whose initials end with a 'T' -- then sign up for Good Genes Dating, where only Ivy Leaguers can apply. I assume you need to send in a copy of your diploma and final report card...The question still remains how will they separate the Harvard wheat from the Yale chaff? (Just kidding -- I went to Rutgers for crying out loud).

Anyway, if you feel that you need to -- or really want to -- sign up for these sites to find a compatible person, then perhaps you are just too picky and that is why you are still single!
But, in the word's of Dennis Miller, that's just my opinion - I may be wrong.

16 Ways to Have More Fun --Today

Do the following:

1. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
2. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries With That.
3. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It, "In."
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For Three Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
5. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors."
6. Finish All Your Sentences, With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
7. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
8. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
10. Sing Along At The Opera.
11. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
12. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
13. Have Your Co-Workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, "Rock Hard."
14. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
15. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
16. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Useful Sites

If you want to find the cheapest gas near you--and who doesn't especially nowadays (is that a real word?)--then check out Gas Buddy.

Also, did you ever load a piece of software and then wished you hadn't (i.e. didnt work, or not as good as previous version, etc.) Here is a site that archives Old Versions of all popular software downloads.

Have fun!

Inspector Gadget Would Love This

If you are a true gadget head and need to know all the newest and latest stuff coming to market then you should visit the EnGadget website for Gadget Heads.

Would You Eat Food That Was Named...?

It's funny how sometimes a simple suggestion can ruin our whole appettite. Many of these foods are products from overseas that got 'lost in the translation'...but surprisingly--NOT all of them! Please Note: THESE ARE REAL PRODUCTS. (See link below)

So would you eat anything was named:

Aass
Anis Kockens
Big Nuts
Bimbo
Black Bush
Brest
Bum Bum
Cemen
Cock
Cockburns
Coming
Coon
Craps
Creamy Ball
Cumin Hole
Dickmilch
Dry Sack
Erektus
Fagottino
Fanny
Fart Bar
Finger Marie
Fizzy Jerkz
Gaytime
Grated Fanny
Happy Crak
Horlicks
Jussi Pussi
Megapussi
Mini-Dickmanns
Mounds
Pee
Perky Nana
Piddle
Plopp
Prick
Pussi
Redbush
Shito
Spotted Dick
Spunk
Vergina
Wanker
Woodii

You can see photos of these foods and more at The Rude Food website.

True or False - Some Urban Legends

Is Walt Disney really cryogenically preserved?
Did Coca-Cola really used to contain cocaine?
Was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer created for Montgomery Ward department stores?
Is the nursery rhyme 'Ring Around the Rosie' a coded reference to the Black Plague?
Did The Marlboro Man die of lung cancer?
Is the penis of gangster John Dillinger on display at a Smithsonian museum?
Does the average person swallow eight spiders per year?
Do hair and fingernails continue to grow after one's death?
Is it true that the middle name of President Harry Truman was just the letter 'S.'?
Did President Bush, during a photo opportunity, become "amazed" at encountering supermarket scanners for the first time?

Some of the above are TRUE and others FALSE. Find out which is which at: SNOPES.

The Yuckiest Little Mini-Golf Course in the West

OK - when a mini-golf course that is self-described as the "The Yuckiest Little Miniature Golf Course in the West" has holes that include:

* Poo Monkey and Poo Cow (yes they are taking a dump on the green)
* A pile of wood full of rusty nails
* An outhouse
* 100' high tiki
* Aortic Valve
and of course
* Lopsided Nipple Buddha Passes Stone

It makes you wonder if there is a yuckier mini-golf course in the East?