Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
[Is this an ad from Al Qaeda?]
German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
[I don't want any dog smarter than me!]
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
[Here's a gift for my neighbors!]
For sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) - $50
[So that's about 65,000% off list price!]
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!
[At least it's better than last week's free sample of Syphillis!]
Georgia peaches, California grown - 89 cents lb
[So where did the baked Alaska come from?]
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
[I think I know where this place is!]
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
[Please send photo first...]
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
[It better be a really big one.]
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
[So does this make them "honest" used car guys?]
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
[Do you have a catalog?]
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
[So much for the smoked beef in vodka sauce.]
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
[The scary thing is this ad is in the paper every week - he must go "through" a lot of assistants!]