Carpe Diem

Yesterday is History,
Tomorrow is a Mystery,
Today is a Gift,
That is why they call it "The Present"

Car Rental Companies are Morons

Why is it I will rent a mid-size car a week in advance from Avis, Hertz, or other car rental company -- and when I get there they dont have any cars for me in that class? They tell me "We can upgrade you for just $4/day"
"No, I want the one I reserved."
"We'll put you in a minivan for the same price." "I dont want a minivan." "But it's an upgrade."
"Not to me."
"I'm afraid you'll have to wait then..."
WHAT!?!

Seinfeld was right: They know how to take the reservation, but they dont know how to keep the reservation -- which is the most important part!

Can you imagine showing up to a hotel after a long flight and they say they dont have any rooms - even though you have a reservation. Well we can update you to the luxury suite for just an extra $100/day. Well, what about if we just give you the handicap room for the same price. All we have are smoking rooms, but you can't have your kids in the room - they'll have to stay in the lobby.

I think they should institute the same deal the hotels have - you make a reservation and show up, and if you dont, you have to either cancel in advance or pay the day's cost! How hard is that?

....Morons....

Words that don't get used enough

Here are some words I feel deserve more exposure; please try and use at least one each day this week -- Thank You.

* Stint
* Fisticuffs
* Insouciant
* Radish
* Magillacuddy
* Zygote

An All Southern Exposure

Here's an interesting thought (to me at least):
In the USA, there is a timezone change about every 15 degrees of longitude. We have four timezones in the lower 48...
So if you were at the North Pole where all of the lines of longitude meet - What timezone are you in? All of them? Does time stand still at the Pole? Can I get all of the primetime broadcasts at any time of day? What do I set my watch to?
Does this hurt anyone else's brain?

Who wants to be President?

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

-- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I H8 People (Rants & Research)

I know this has happened to you - unless you live alone in a cabin in upper Montana with just your gun, axe, and animals for "friends" (can you say Una-bomber?) You're at work or driving home, or just anywhere and someone ticks you off for the Xth time that day and, either in your mind you think--or if it's really bad, you say it outloud--"I hate people!"

I know that 99% of the time you don't really mean it (do you?) but it feels good to say it once in a while. So just for fun and procrastination, I like to Google phrases like that: I put in "I Hate People" and came up with some interesting finds...

Memorial Website for Comedian Bill Hicks is titled "People Who Hate People HQ" (his bio is here)

Here's a Blog Entry from Dean's World

Another Blog Entry - A Female This Time!

An Maybe the most introspective of all is this image.

Of Course there is a Website Called Simple Hatred that has T-Shirts for all occasions including:I Hate Carbs, I Hate Arbor Day, I Hate Golf, I Hate Canada, and the confusing, I Hate Gravy. Of course there is one on today's topic as well - I Hate People

I find it somewhat disturbing that doing online research actually calms me down (can you say "geek"?), especially when I see how much more crazy other folks are, and maybe now I don't hate people...

But you know what I do hate though...The way the word "people" is spelled. Whose ideas was it to put an 'O' in there? Why not peeple, or peaple, or even peiple. Almost any other vowel would have worked, but they had to pick the 'O' for crying out loud.

"Here's the Church, Here's the Steople." - See how dumb it looks?

By the way, other than 'steeple', does anything else rhyme with people? I used an an online rhyming dictionary and found no other words other than surnames (doesn't count in Scrabble, so it doesn't count here).

Anyway - I feel better now. Peace, Love, & Harmony to all :-))

Jumping to Conclusions (Joke)

A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming.

He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized.

"Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of who fathers her children! " Then he got a little panicky."I don't remember her," he thought but, MAYBE....during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child!

He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really drunk and had wild crazy sex on the pool table in front of everyone?"

"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's second grade teacher!"

Body Parts, Death, & Sex in the News

Body Parts from the Sky
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Pieces of a man's body fell from the wheel well of a South African Airways passenger plane bound for John F. Kennedy International Airport Tuesday and landed in the yard of a suburban home, police said.

A U.S. customs inspector discovered the rest of the man's body at 7:30 a.m. (1130 GMT) after Flight 203 landed in New York from Johannesburg, South Africa, said a spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which oversees area airports.

A South African Airways spokeswoman said it appeared to have been a stowaway attempt. She said the plane had stopped in Dakar, Senegal, on its way to New York.

The pilot reported feeling vibrations at takeoff but conducted a check and found nothing amiss, said Nassau County, New York, police detective Kevin Smith.

During the flight, Smith said the pilot felt more "vibrating sensations and heard pounding, but nothing appeared wrong with the plane."

The body parts, which included the right leg, part of the spine and a hip, struck a garage roof of the home in South Floral Park, New York, before landing in the backyard, police said.

Apartment full of desiccated corpses
MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russian police have found four people from three generations of the same family dead in their apartment where they had lain for at least two years.

A spokesman for Moscow city prosecutors told local media skeletons were all that remained of the man and three women who seemed to have died at different times in the past decade.

"The oldest family member, a grandfather born in 1912, died about 10 years ago. Five years later his wife, who was born in 1914, died," the spokesman told Interfax news agency.

"The deaths of the others, a daughter born in 1942, and a grand-daughter born in 1971, also came at different times."

Itar-Tass news agency quoted neighbors as saying the dead people had been secretive members of a religious sect.

Police were called to the apartment after complaints the family had not paid utility bills for two years. They broke down the door when there was no answer to repeated calls.

First Ther was Fast Food...
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German city is rushing to install a series of drive-in wooden "sex garages" in time for next year's Soccer World Cup and an expected boom in the local sex trade, a city official said Wednesday.