Here are some (supposedly) real questions customers have asked various store workers, (and some snyde comments by yours truly):
Where does the film go in the digital camera?
On the phone: "I got caught for shoplifting a year ago. Can I come back and shop yet?"
[Please Ms. Ryder, do not call us--we'll call you!]
Is your Sunset Dinner Cruise on a boat?" followed by: "is there any meal on there?"
[Answer: Does the Titanic have deck chairs?]
Do you sell metal thinner?
[Thinner than what?]
Where are your telephones and microwaves? (When you work in a dollar store)
[In the Barbie section]
Is your chicken parmesan made from chicken?
[No, it's made BY chickens.]
My nephew is 6 years old. What size would he be?
[How old are you? "30." Well, then he's one fifth of your size!]
I broke this, can I have a discount?
[If I set your house on fire, can I have the insurance money?]
Are the red seedless grapes seedless?
[You mean those green ones?]
This version of the Matrix DVD is in widescreen.....How wide does my TV have to be to be able to see it?
[At least 57". Did I tell you about our big screen sale?]
Do you sell a parmesan cheese shaker in the shape of a rat?
[Doesn't everyone?]
Where are your kidney gifts?
[Right near the anniversary bladders, why do you ask?]
What color are your blue tarps?
[Gold, of course]
How can you legally sell buffalo wings, don't you know that they are extinct?
[OK, Jessica Simpson!]
I bought this item 6 years ago. I don't have a receipt and I'm not even sure if I bought it here. Can I get a cash refund?
[* smack! *]
Do you take expired coupons?
[Only if you take expired food.]
Do you have a dvd rewinder?
[Yes, they're next to the 8-track read/write drives.]
How much will a 5 gallon tank hold?
[19 liters]
Can I order from the menu?
[No it's just for show.]
"Do you have Windows 95 for Sony Playstation?
[Why ruin a good playstation?]