12/05/2003

In The News...

A town in Italy is paying couples $11,900 to have babies...I think here in the US there are certain people we should pay NOT to have kids...ever! I'd chip in for that!

Here's something for everyone's Christmas list: The mouse genome is now available in a hardback addition! -- I think I'll wait for the movie.

In Florida, the true spirit of Xmas was foiled when police busted a Christmas Trees for Crack campaign. "Two men arrested for stealing Christmas trees from a Rotary Club tent said they intended to exchange them for crack cocaine or food."
- Do you want a sandwich or some crack?
- "I'll take the crack please..."
- "Do you want fries with that?"

After two 14-year old boys shot a BB gun at another boy in a wheelchair, the judge sentenced them to sit in a wheelchair for 2 days at the mall. After also attacking a "senior citizen" the judge ordered them to wear their pants real high, eat dinner at 4:30pm, make funny smacking noises with their lips, and watch Wheel of Fortune.

Today's Party Pooper File: Now they say moderate drinking is bad for you, and it can shrink your brain...Just when I had gotten into a healthy drinking habit, now they say...now they say...what? never mind....

Today's Irony File: A man was arrested for armed robbery and identified by his tattoo, which read: 'Not Guilty'.