10/06/2003

Early Christmas Present for the Kid with Everything

If you thought your kids (or you!) had every action figure known in the universe, don't forget about the Librarian Action Figure. This is for real. It even has push-button 'shushing' for life-like action. It is even based on a real librarian. Order now to get a bonus trading card and bookmark. (Trading cards? Are there other librarians that they made trading cards on, or are they all the different professions?)

I thought this was such a great idea, I will soon be creating my own action figures for next Christmas. These will include:
* Funeral Director Action Figure
- Push the button and watch a random person near you drop dead
* Garbage Collector
- Push the button and watch him bang the garbage can (only works between 4am and 6am)
* Bulimic
- Push the button after pointing away from your clothes
* Porn Star
- Push the button and....well, you can figure this one out
* Grandpa Geezer
- Three action buttons cause one of the following to happen
1) Dentures fly across the room
2) Cackles a laugh and instantly falls asleep
3) Makes a mess in his pants and calls for the nurse.