Yes my time is tight today, so I will put up some Halloween holiday alternatives here later this week. But first lets peruse some of my favorite comparison sayings. The title of this entry is an example. Another might be while talking about someone who is fat: "He's got more chins than a Chinese phonebook."
here are some more. First the 3 grossest ones I know:
* Slicker than snot on a doorknob (I heard a guy use this in a meeting, of all places)
* Hotter than a fat man's ass crack in July (unless you live in the southern hemisphere, then it would be January)
* Older than the crust on my grandma's underpants
Some reference body parts; some more, some less than the typical person:
* Busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest
* Busier than a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes
* More horny than a three-pecked goat in a field full of nannies
* Busier than a ten-peckered dog in a hydrant factory
Some other favorites:
* More confused than a woodpecker in a concrete forest
* Poorer than a pickpocket in a nudist colony
* Noisier than two skeletons making love on a tin roof
* More nervous than a whore in church
* More jumpy than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs